You’re not if:
1) You believe your uncle was really searching for his keys when he stuck his fist up your anus.
2) You are convinced your fascination for your buddy’s cock is just a phase.
3) You believe your cat is not getting a hard-on when you’re stroking it.
4) You think the priest is not jacking off when you’re confessing your sins.
5) You find live performances of movie stars dancing on stage more exhilarating than getting the mucus out from underneath your fingernails.
6) You think all vaginas possess the scent of a full-bloomed, crimson-red, freshly cut rose petal.
7) You think all assholes don’t smell like shit.
8 ) You equate the victory of your country’s over-paid sports team with some kind of personal achievement.
9) You are of the opinion that joining a celebrity fan club does not make you a complete jackass.
10) You feel sexual experimentation involves letting your girlfriend embed broken glass into your balls.
11) You think writing love poems after the age of seventeen does not make you a super-fag.
12) You imagine that being romantic means writing the words “I love you” across your girlfriend’s dinner plate using her menstrual blood.
13) You don’t comprehend the fact that applauding during a movie doesn’t make you look like anything other than a dickhead.
14) You are convinced that videotaping your girlfriend giving you head and putting it on the internet is the first step towards you becoming the next Steven Spielberg.
15) You fail to understand that Facebook and Orkut are not social networking sites but training schools for stalkers, pedophiles, and rapists.
16) You don’t recognize that listening to your iPod while you’re at a movie theatre officially makes you a douche.
17) You believe that caring for the environment has any more meaning than trimming your knuckle hair.
18 ) You don’t find the villain in the new Batman movie more menacing than the villain in the Bible.
19) You don’t think the hero in the new Batman movie has a cooler ride than the hero in the Bible.
20) You believe with all your heart that songs, movies, or books can really change your lives.
21) You trust your government.
22) You trust your religion.
23) You don’t find taking a big shit more relaxing than reading a book.
24) You don’t consider farting the theme song of “Friends” an act of making music.
25) You are under the impression that no one other than your dad has come on your mother’s face.

You are if:
1) You realize the world is a big boiling pot full of lies, shit, lies, piss, lies, cum, lies, filth, and some more lies. And Ram Gopal Varma movies.

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