Keeping in mind the importance of political correctness and honesty, only this could be said about Dan Bo: He was the dumbest creature in the whole wide world. Mentally retarded donkeys (or is it donkii?) had a better chance of passing a test than Dan Bo. Brain-dead sheep (why not sheeps?) thought faster than Dan Bo. Comatose hippos (or is it hippii?) had more cerebral action than Dan Bo. Apoplectic weasels (Ugh! Who cares about plurals-or is it plurii?) comprehended…(I think you get the drift).
                   Dumbness did not necessarily co-exist with lack of popularity. In fact dumbness was directly proportional to the number of friends you had (now you know why you’re so popular). The dumber you were the more mistakes you made and hence the more entertainment you created for the ones around you (for nothing is as entertaining to another as your mistakes). Although when it came to commanding respect Dan Bo was not exactly topping the chart. When the ones around him didn’t regard him with derision and mockery, they regarded him with jeers and sneers and when they were short of jeers and sneers they used gibes and taunts and so ran the list.
                  It was just another ordinary day except for the arrival of an alien spaceship filled with ultra-intelligent aliens who threatened to invade the Earth. Unless, they said, an Earthling could defeat them with superior intelligence and powers of comprehension. Professors, scientists, biotechnologists, Presidents(huh?)-almost everybody tried to leave the aliens hanging but they ended up hanging in the prison at the back of the colossal spaceship with their legs split and their heads shoved up their backsides. Finally, Dan Bo- who was resting in his long low seat-was zapped and made to appear in front of the B.O.A (the Board of Aliens as the alien intelligentsia called themselves). Maybe it was “divan intervention” or maybe it was just plain ol’ irony-whatever it was, after four hours of conversation with Dan Bo, the aliens emancipated the captives and got their out-of-the-world-blue-posteriors the hell out of Earth. Dan Bo thus saved the world and gained the love and respect of one and all (except that of the aliens).
Due to the extremely graphic nature of the intensely nonsensical conversation that transpired between the B.O.A and Dan Bo only a very small part of it is printed below which would be sufficient to show why the aliens scrammed:
Dan Bo(shrugging):You know what they say: “Curiosity spilled the milk”.
The B.O.A(gritting their teeth):What?
Dan Bo(surprised):It didn’t?
The B.O.A(with an incredulous look in their eyes):What?
Dan Bo (nervous and embarrassed):I mean the dead cat spilled the milk.
The B.O.A(their eyes widening further):What?
Dan Bo (flabbergasted):It didn’t?
The B.O.A(irate at the illogic digression):What?
Dan Bo(thinking hard):No…no…wait…What was the deal with the cat again?
The B.O.A(sighing deeply trying to retain their sanity):Curiosity killed the cat.
Dan Bo(with a relieved smile):Oh, ok. Curiosity killed the cat.
The B.O.A (their anger alleviated on finally sensing an end to this):Yes, that’s correct.
Dan Bo (with a quizzical stare):So then who spilled the milk?
The B.O.A (stunned):….