INDIAN PRESIDENT LOOKS LIKE A LADY Saturday, Jul 21 2007 

               India has just gone one step up in the ladder of women empowerment with the wonderful news of the bestowal of one of the most prestigious titles upon arguably the most important and underrated Indian woman ever. As you may have already guessed I’m talking about the fact that Shilpa Slutty is now Dr. Shilpa Slutty thanks to the overwhelming benevolence of our old colonial masters who’re nowhere near done giving the crybaby enough candy for making her bawl like a fucking bitch a few months back. However, another lesser meaningful title of India’s President was ascribed to some tiny old lady called Pratibha Patil who isn’t even half as sexy as Shilpa Slutty.

                CNN-IBN’s slightly lesser known sister channel CNN-SOB rose to the occasion and covered the story of India getting only its second woman president. The first was, as all of us Indians remember, Lord Mountbatten’s perverted little daughter who used to spy on Jawaharlal Nehru making sweet love to her own mother when her father went “hunting” with the stable boy. That story was covered by yet another sister channel of CNN-IBN called CNN-STD. They also reported that the flower tucked into Nehru’s coat pocket was symbolic of the neat deflowering job he had done on Lord Mountbatten’s bitch. CNN-SOB reported that unlike the first woman President of India, Pratibha Patil had no sexual perversions of any sort. In fact, except for the time she spoke to a dead guy on Mount Abu she could be said to have lead a completely normal life.

                However, India’s primary political party, the BJP, who treated all Indians with equal respect and dignity unless they were Christians, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists and non-upper class Hindus, claimed that the new Indian President was not worthy of heading our country. They threatened that they possessed highly scandalous information regarding the new President and unless she quit her post they would reveal those details, which could very well bring the whole country into disrepute. Another sister channel of CNN-IBN, called CNN-HIV which specialized in sting operations managed to solicit the BJP leaders and obtain the shameful facts concerning our new President. The charge sheet leaked out of the BJP HQ, which was neatly typed and bulleted accused Pratibha Patil of two very serious charges:

  • Pratibha Patil is a woman
  • Pratibha Patil is not a man

       CNN-HIV later reported that President Pratibha denied both these allegations raised against her by the BJP. However, the entire operation was canned by the BJP after they received an anonymous tip-off about an M.F Hussain painting that displayed a three-headed rabbit sexually pleasuring a castrated tiger, which blatantly blasphemed the national pride of India by insulting our national animal and also the Trimurti.

                 Apart from that, President Pratibha enjoyed the unanimous support of the Indian people and also the Indian women who would soon, Insha’Allah and also Insha’Pratibha, be granted the status of “peoplehood”. On the very first day in office, President Pratibha brought about some radical reformations to our country’s laws, rules, and regulations. Firstly, she demanded that Union Woman and Child Welfare Minister Renuka Chowdhary should slim down so that people can view her using only a single television set. Secondly, she made gay marriages legal in India. And thirdly, she made having sex in public illegal. As soon as the third law was passed, she received an intelligence report from India’s most vocal Defense Minister A.K. Anthony who made hand gestures to her which conveyed that two men had been caught having wild butt-sex in an open land in the middle of Uttar Pradesh. Aerial cameras inside the Rashtrapati Bhavan telecast the tiny live images of two figures lustily rubbing against each other. On zooming in the two men were identified to be Amitabh Bachchan and Amar Singh celebrating the legalization of gay marriages. Madam President ordered both men to be arrested and sent immediately to Himesh Reshmmiya’s recording studio. 

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5 Responses to INDIAN PRESIDENT LOOKS LIKE A LADY

  1. abarclay12 says:

    I wish my last name was Slutty.

  2. Prateek says:

    Ur writing is sick..and it sucks…u talk all crap and bullshit..get ur facts straight..

  3. […] INDIAN PRESIDENT LOOKS LIKE A LADY                India has just gone one step up in the ladder of women empowerment with the wonderful news […] […]

  4. vab says:

    dude i dont understand why amitabh bacchan nd amar singh being sent to himesh reshamia’s studio!!!!!!!!

  5. amitavaguha says:

    I want to put a link from my blogsite to this blog. Will you permit me?

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INDIAN PRESIDENT LOOKS LIKE A LADY Saturday, Jul 21 2007 

               India has just gone one step up in the ladder of women empowerment with the wonderful news of the bestowal of one of the most prestigious titles upon arguably the most important and underrated Indian woman ever. As you may have already guessed I’m talking about the fact that Shilpa Slutty is now Dr. Shilpa Slutty thanks to the overwhelming benevolence of our old colonial masters who’re nowhere near done giving the crybaby enough candy for making her bawl like a fucking bitch a few months back. However, another lesser meaningful title of India’s President was ascribed to some tiny old lady called Pratibha Patil who isn’t even half as sexy as Shilpa Slutty.

                CNN-IBN’s slightly lesser known sister channel CNN-SOB rose to the occasion and covered the story of India getting only its second woman president. The first was, as all of us Indians remember, Lord Mountbatten’s perverted little daughter who used to spy on Jawaharlal Nehru making sweet love to her own mother when her father went “hunting” with the stable boy. That story was covered by yet another sister channel of CNN-IBN called CNN-STD. They also reported that the flower tucked into Nehru’s coat pocket was symbolic of the neat deflowering job he had done on Lord Mountbatten’s bitch. CNN-SOB reported that unlike the first woman President of India, Pratibha Patil had no sexual perversions of any sort. In fact, except for the time she spoke to a dead guy on Mount Abu she could be said to have lead a completely normal life.

                However, India’s primary political party, the BJP, who treated all Indians with equal respect and dignity unless they were Christians, Muslims, Jews, Buddhists and non-upper class Hindus, claimed that the new Indian President was not worthy of heading our country. They threatened that they possessed highly scandalous information regarding the new President and unless she quit her post they would reveal those details, which could very well bring the whole country into disrepute. Another sister channel of CNN-IBN, called CNN-HIV which specialized in sting operations managed to solicit the BJP leaders and obtain the shameful facts concerning our new President. The charge sheet leaked out of the BJP HQ, which was neatly typed and bulleted accused Pratibha Patil of two very serious charges:

  • Pratibha Patil is a woman
  • Pratibha Patil is not a man

       CNN-HIV later reported that President Pratibha denied both these allegations raised against her by the BJP. However, the entire operation was canned by the BJP after they received an anonymous tip-off about an M.F Hussain painting that displayed a three-headed rabbit sexually pleasuring a castrated tiger, which blatantly blasphemed the national pride of India by insulting our national animal and also the Trimurti.

                 Apart from that, President Pratibha enjoyed the unanimous support of the Indian people and also the Indian women who would soon, Insha’Allah and also Insha’Pratibha, be granted the status of “peoplehood”. On the very first day in office, President Pratibha brought about some radical reformations to our country’s laws, rules, and regulations. Firstly, she demanded that Union Woman and Child Welfare Minister Renuka Chowdhary should slim down so that people can view her using only a single television set. Secondly, she made gay marriages legal in India. And thirdly, she made having sex in public illegal. As soon as the third law was passed, she received an intelligence report from India’s most vocal Defense Minister A.K. Anthony who made hand gestures to her which conveyed that two men had been caught having wild butt-sex in an open land in the middle of Uttar Pradesh. Aerial cameras inside the Rashtrapati Bhavan telecast the tiny live images of two figures lustily rubbing against each other. On zooming in the two men were identified to be Amitabh Bachchan and Amar Singh celebrating the legalization of gay marriages. Madam President ordered both men to be arrested and sent immediately to Himesh Reshmmiya’s recording studio. 

2 Responses to INDIAN PRESIDENT LOOKS LIKE A LADY

  1. Prateek says:

    Ur writing is sick..and it sucks…u talk all crap and bullshit..get ur facts straight..

  2. boomparwez says:

    cool writing mate 🙂

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