Mother Teresa was rumored to have expressed only one wish before she died. That one day this world which was afflicted with so many illnesses would be lucky enough to see a reality television show starring Snoop Dogg. Snoop Dogg’s reality show, it was announced, would be featured on the home of top quality entertainment programs- E! Entertainment Television, which has gifted to the world shows like Let’s Take Boring Retarded Stuff About Self-Obsessed Celebrities and Talk About them as if they’re Divine Things, Let’s show How Fucking Rich Movie Stars and Teenage Singers Are so You at home can feel like Total Losers, and, of course, who can forget their biggest crowd-puller Ryan Seacrest and a Thin Bitch Standing Around muttering Incoherent Shit.

                The reality show, tentatively titled “Pot, Pussy, and Prayers with Snoop and his players”, would have the traditional reality show format where Snoop Dogg and his homies will be given scripts and made up family emergencies and scenarios in an attempt to make them look like ordinary human beings despite being multi-millionaires. Guest starring in the reality show making minor appearances would also be some relatively unimportant people from Snoop Dogg’s life like his kids, his ex-wife, and his mother. Other starring roles belong to Snoop’s fellow pimps n’ hoes, the LAPD, Snoop’s drug dealing cuz, Jacob the Jeweler, the NYPD, and Martha Stewart.

               E! Entertainment Television was initially a bit concerned about the potentially offensive nature of the content on the show since Snoop Dogg’s average day consisted of getting drunk, smoking pot, popping pills, banging bitches, shooting other rappers, and reading the Bible. After several weeks of discussions and brainstorming the network and Snoop agreed to proceed with the show after editing out the controversial bits on Snoop’s schedule namely reading the Bible. Comic relief would come in the form of Martha Stewart who was slated to appear occasionally on the show to demonstrate the many number of ways in which Snoop’s hair can be redecorated. After the hair redecoration Snoop would proceed to videotape him hitting Martha’s “white round thang”.

               When E! interviewed Snoop and talked about his new reality show he was conspicuously stoked. In the middle of the interviewed he ordered one of his tricks to go down on him and suck him dry as part of the celebration. Regarding the show he had this to say:

“Yo, my niggers, this is S- N-Double O-P, talking to you L-I-V-E!
I’mma come and burn your TV, fuck your mama and giver her VD!
I’ll shoot niggers who’re greedy, my TV show’s G-Double O-D!
And my favorite Harry Potter character is Hermion-E!
Eyyuuhh!!!” 
 

                 “Pot, Pussy, and Prayers with Snoop and his players” which, by far, looks to be the most promising of any reality show that has ever hit television will give Snoop Dogg the kind of opportunities that “Hogan Knows Best” gave for Hulk Hogan namely the opportunity to parade to the world Brooke Hogan’s tight sexy ass since she’s also one of Snoop’s favorite hoes. With the predicted success of “Pot, Pussy, and Prayers with Snoop and his players” bringing up the revenue of E! Entertainment Television to an all time high, the network is already planning for new shows with various other celebrities. At present, they’re planning to rope in Madonna for new adventure/reality show where she would visit orphanages all across the world and try and stuff as many kids up her craggy old womb as possible. The show will be called “I’m a Desperate Bitch, I’m Unholy, I’m Madonna, But I want to be Jolie”.  

              

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