Godzilla facing Mecha-Godzilla is amazing; Superman meeting the Eradicator is divine; Bugs Bunny encountering Buster Bunny would be kick ass; but George Bush meeting the Pope- now, that’s some good shit.

                               Bush lost his Vatican virginity for the fourth time a few days ago when he met Pope Benedict XVI amidst innumerous protests in the streets of Rome; the protests had nothing to do with the American President’s visit though, people were just voicing complaints against the Church after they noticed that all their sons were having severe constipation the next day after choir practice; a head priest dismissed the protest rally after he concluded that it was probably something the boys ate.

                              An awkward moment took place when Bush did not bow when he met the Pope; he did, however, in all fairness, offer the Pope one of his prized pretzels. Bush also made the error of not addressing the Pope as “his holiness”. Bush’s first words to the Pope were, “what’s up, man?” Pope Benedict cleared his throat, in an attempt to express his displeasure, and raised his eyebrows at Bush. The gesture worked and Bush realized his folly. He apologized several times and rephrased his greeting, “what’s up, old man?”

                              In his conversation with the American President, the Pope expressed a deep concern for the Christians in Iraq; he also added, “screw the rest”. The two supreme authorities also talked about various other issues like defense of human life, religious freedom, and marriage. Bush advocated that human lives should be defended at all costs even if it meant people had to be murdered for that, Pope agreed; Pope stated that every individual had his/her own right to follow whatever religion they wanted as long as it was Roman Catholicism, Bush agreed. Regarding marriage, both were in agreement that it was too complex for them to explain and had to be left to the Almighty, Bill Clinton.

                               Afterwards, they moved onto topics like world politics, Middle East, and the true meaning of Christianity. There was a long stretch of silence for about two hours after these topics were brought up. Then they moved onto heavier issues like chocolate fudge, Sopranos, and Paris Hilton.

                                Pope Benedict and Bush also pointed out how similar each other’s responsibilities were: they both had to try their best to scare their people into believing that if they didn’t do as they were told the Lord of Darkness, Saddam Hussein, would come back from beyond and eat their souls. Pope also pointed out how both he and Bush had the same tenure, which was as long as they freakin’ wanted.

                              The Pope also mentioned that he was highly impressed with the strong fight against AIDS that Bush was putting up in Africa; the Pope said that AIDS was one of the worst killer diseases ever. On hearing this Bush spoke up and clarified that he was indeed on a mission to kill AIDS but not the kind of AIDS the Pope was talking about. Bush explained that his mission was to eradicate AIDS (Africans in Desperate Situation).

                              Both Bush and Pope Benedict then talked about the one person whom they would ask God to kill if they got the chance. The Pope thought for a few minutes and answered, “Dan Brown.” Bush didn’t need more than a few seconds to say, “Michael Moore.” The meeting between George Bush and Pope Benedict ended amicably when Bush asked the Pope if the Holy Grail was real. The Pope replied that the Holy Grail was as real as the weapons of mass destruction in Iraq.

                             Sources say that both Bush and the Pope have vowed to never meet each other ever again.

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